Monday, April 15, 2013

Project: Megan

Goodness, It has been so long since I have had a chance to write a REAL post. Life has been so busy and I swear, the clocks are working at a faster pace. Things are changing. Just when I thought that things couldn't be better... I am reminded that I am not in control and the man that is can make good things, GREAT!
Here is a bit of what launched
project: Megan

The past few months have been life changing. I realized that I am an adult and I can make my own choices. I know that sounds like a "duh" moment. For me, it was a wake up call. I try to make sure that everyone is HAPPY. Happy Happy Happy. I don't like people being mad at me and I have become... quite honestly... a doormat.

When I met my husband I was a different person. I was raised with southern values. Taught to be kind and respectful but had a temper that was hot and ready. I have tried so long to calm my self and be more like my amazing, loving, kind, laid back husband.
 I can honestly say that I have. One thing has not changed.
Mess with my babies... hell to the no.
But I have noticed that I am really letting the little things go.
So, I called my mom one day when I had all I could take.
 Here comes the wake up call
She reassured me that I was doing a great job but I had to put my foot down. She reminded me that I am an adult. I don't have to take phone calls or crap. I don't have to be where I am expected to be or where I am told to be. It's my life.
 Here recently, some things have gone down that I don't want to be a part of. I still get pulled into it from time to time but anyone who knows anything, knows what's up. So he ask the dreaded question, "Where is my wife?" Why don't you stand up for yourself? It hits me. This quote use to make me so upset but it never made more sense to me than it does today...
I have the choice to allow all of this crazy in my life.  I can't have peace with people that strive on chaos. So I am standing up for my self by letting it and them go. It may not be the way that I would have done it 10 years ago but it's the way that works for me now.
There is no doubt that I have an AMAZING family. I that the best marriage that I have ever known. We don't argue and our home is FULL of love and laughter. So I refuse to let people in that will only bring us down. No more.
New home rule: If you are not kind, you are not welcome.
While praying for strength and guidance, I pray for them, the unwelcome. 

 While burning bridges, I am cutting off routes to certain things that I don't want to loose. So one day I prayed "Lord, please. Give me strength to move on or guidance to do your will. I can not do this on my own." 5 minutes later. No joke, 5 minutes later I literally ran right into the one thing at the other side of that bridge that I was terrified to loose and something that I already thought that I had lost. I feel like he just gave me a wink and reminded me that I AM NOT IN CONTROL. He is and he had just built me a beautiful new bridge.
I am a constant work in progress. I know that with Him leading, I may cross paths with an unwelcome one day and I just pray that I have the ability to do and say the right things. As I let go of the negative people, He is blessing us with beautiful new people who truly love our family. I am working on staying positive. It's not always easy but I am enjoying the challenge and I know my struggles are only making me stronger.


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Marissa said...

Here's hoping things get better and you get some ME time!

Janie Krakowski said...

I can't even begin to express how full my heart is reading this post.

I am a firm believer that this quote is entirely true and when you know.. you just know.

You are a true southern belle, with such a sweet spirit and amazing energy. You are also way more strong (and gorgeous!) than you give yourself credit for.

The VP of Project Megan

PS. You just so happen to be one of my most favoritest of people on the planet.

kaley said...

good for you girl - i think we all get into a rut now and then trying to please everyone but ourselves. luckily you have a great family and support system behind you!

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